Create in me a clean heart
Who is there like you, the God who removes guilt and pardons sin, treading underfoot our guilt? You will cast into the depth of the sea all our sins.
– From Micah 7
My friend was afraid and left home in the middle of a winter afternoon with little money and no hope. She was reported missing, and police found her at a bus station 90 miles from home with a bus ticket to go another 90 miles away from home.
Because she seemed uncertain and unreasonable, they took her to the hospital for evaluation. As far as I know, she’s still there. She is holding some secrets close to her heart. She won’t tell anyone. Her secrets are tearing her apart.
What is it that makes us shut ourselves in like that? Confession is so easy once I start, and so impossible until I start. God’s love is just an idea until I show my dark side, until I “confess the guilt of my sin.”
How far is it from the east to the west? An infinite distance? “So far has he put our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103). Queen Elizabeth II was crowned at an early age with many jewels, “he crowns you with you kindness and compassion” (Psalm 103 again!) Even with a bathysphere able to explore the Mariana Trench, I will find no trace of my sin. Cast into the depth of the sea.
But in between the evening and the morning comes confession. One late night many years ago at Lincoln Christian College I shared a few minutes with the young guys at Titus Hall. We talked about how to live before “the day when God shall judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus” (Romans 2:16). Not long after that I shared my most closely kept secret sin, first with a friend, then with my sons.
Perhaps I remember that time because this kind of nakedness in spite of shame is so rare outside of Eden. But without it I pretend, become defensive, and wither inside. I feel more and more alone. And it’s not the same to talk only to God. In Life Together Dietrich Bonhoeffer asks, “Have we rather been confessing our sins to ourselves and also granting ourselves absolution?”
We can refuse to bear the cross of our sin and “shrink from this public death.” But when finally I open my mouth and speak, Bonhoeffer assures us, “you will never be alone again, anywhere.” My helpless cycles of self-indulgence and self-loathing are replaced by divine firmness and divine love, as God and my friend pray for me.
Therefore the joy that comes in the morning. How free can I be in the wake of this forgiveness? My feelings may follow slowly after, like a little boy trailing after his father in the woods, but oh, yes, I am free indeed.
Oh, Lord, don’t let the rain come down. My roof’s got a hole in it and I might drown. But the sun is shining now, Lord, and it’s time to get up there with you and find the hole and fix it. You are right here while I decide about that, Jesus. Waiting for me to say the word. It is so good to dwell together in unity.
 http://www.davesandel.net/category/lent-easter-devotions-2018/
http://www.christiancounselingservice.com/archived_devotions.php?article_id=1656
