Friday, May 2, 2025
Memorial of Saint Athanasius, Bishop and Doctor of the Church
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
Dream
Sometimes in the early morning I dream, and in some of these dreams I am afraid. I am lost.
I woke up drenched in sweat, panicking and then relieved. I said out loud, “That dream absolutely took me out.” Then I turned on the hot water and stepped in the shower. The sense of being lost began to fade. And as I moved back in and out of lost, I wondered about the dream extending into my waking reality, the one I live in when I’m not asleep. I thought of the slave trader – who once was lost and now am found, he said. What were his nights like?
I sit and write, and the back of my neck is tight, my hackles are up. That’s called being hyper-alert, or paranoia, or just plain fear. Because I was lost. That “now I’m found “has yet to hit me.
“Fellow children of Israel,
be careful what you are about to do to these men.”
Gamaliel spoke to the Sanhedrin. I remember an earlier debate, a couple of weeks earlier perhaps, when , arguments raged, fueled by fear, and Caiaphas intoned that it was better that one man die than the people all be lost.
Then each one went to their own house.
By then it was dark. Night had fallen. A new moon was unenlightening. Sometimes a Saducee stumbled, on a rock, perhaps a rock they wanted to pick up and caress, a safe rock, one with which they might protect themselves.
What happened in that dark night to the love they knew their Father felt for them? It’s one thing to be a member of Mob, the organism of protection in the face of fear. That whole experience is a lie, born in a garden where Lucifer desperate for companions goes too far, and God makes of him a serpent. Is that all they’re left with?
And what happens to that love I know too, in my dream where I am lost? I know the address but lose my car. My appointment to get a sleep study kit is soon, I leave in plenty of time, but when I leave the car I lose my way, and then I lose my way back to the car but remember an old boy’s bicycle and ride it into a holiday crowd of revelers outside the cathedral, where bells are ringing and choristers, robed in red and white, sing their Gregorian songs.
So many parties going on around me. Children are swimming, diving into a long narrow pool leading to the cathedral. And I realize that now I’ve even lost my bike. I must get back home to call and cancel the appointment, so I won’t be charged a $75 fee. I find a Methodist abbey and ask a white-haired man where the Catholic church is. He thinks he knows and begins to tell me but then disappears himself to get better directions. I know I don’t have time to wait, so I start the way he told me.
I see glimpses of the cathedral’s high tower. I am surrounded by happy people. I don’t think to ask them for help. I am not getting any closer. Why am I going to the cathedral anyway? And in a moment I’m awake. No bike, no car, nowhere to turn. Except to hot water in the shower.
What better text for me today, as I recover from my dream, than Gamaliel’s warning?
Theodas and all those who were loyal to him
were disbanded and came to nothing.
After him came Judas the Galilean at the time of the census.
He also drew people after him,
but he too perished and all who were loyal to him were scattered.
So now I tell you, have nothing to do with these men, and let them go.
For if this endeavor is of human origin, it will destroy itself.
But if it comes from God, you will not be able to destroy them, and
you may even find yourselves fighting against God.”
Gamaliel fought a losing battle with his Jewish brothers, but he went down fighting. Surely Gamaliel had been found. At home that night, alone again, I think he slept soundly, quiet as a foundling, dreaming sweet. He was with his Father, and there would be no fighting against God THAT night. Jesus was feeding him from the bounty of the loaves and fishes, and he was full.
Filled by Jesus, Gamaliel was headed home.
(Acts 5, Psalm 27, Matthew 4, John 6)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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