Still life at midnight

Friday, September 30, 2022

Memorial of Saint Jerome, Priest and Doctor of the Church

(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)

Still life at midnight

The Lord addressed Job out of the storm.

Job must have thought he was dreaming. His friends had spoken, Job spoke, the fire burned, and then in a flash God’s presence manifested, and God spoke.

Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?

Guilty as charged, I say. That would be me. I talk far too much and listen far too little, to God the I AM and to the other little I Ams all around me. (thank you, Peter Kreeft)

Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you will answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.

I stumble and stutter, “Uh … uh, I have nothing to say, Lord. I wasn’t there.”

Have you ever in your lifetime commanded the morning or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?

My paradigm is shifting, Lord. And You are shifting it. Like the dawn shaking the wicked, I am shaken. I am startled and afraid, and uncertain what comes next. I know you could kill me, but I know you love me.

I am of little account; how can I answer you? I put my hand over my mouth.

Instead I will be still, read and remember the words of David, his song of blessing and constancy, patience and perseverance.

You have searched me, O Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Albus Dumbledore in Prisoner of Azkaban, speaking of Harry Potter to Professor Snape: “Let him sleep. For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean, or glide over the highest cloud.”

If I say, Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

Professor Dumbledore was a grand parent to Harry. Richard Rohr says:

When we can let go of our own need for everything to be as we want it, we can then encourage the independent journey of others. Grand parents have hopefully become spacious, with space to contain problems, inconsistencies, inconveniences and contradictions – after a lifetime of practicing and learning.

The large soul of the grand parent is spacious enough to accept all the opposites in life – masculine and feminine, unity and difference, victory and defeat, Us and Them.

That was Dumbledore to the core. It’s the way Margaret and I want to be, to lift up Jasper, Miles, Aly and Jack. They grow up quickly. Combined their years add up to 31. Our years add up to 144. But they increase as we decrease.

We know that our beliefs have less to do with unarguable conclusions and more with scary encounters with life and the living God. We do not so much grasp the truth as we let go of our egos, which are mostly just obstacles to the truth.

Going to bed tonight, I pray for my body to cooperate with this letting go, to be spacious and receptive to all that God shows me, to rest and move into a “world that is entirely my own.” Let our grand parenting thrive and bring joy in the morning.

You knit me in my mother’s womb. I give you thanks that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Guide me, Lord, along the everlasting way.

 (Job 38, Psalm 139, Psalm 95, Luke 10)

(posted at www.davesandel.net)

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