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Why not take all of me

by davesandel on December 8th, 2012

Why not take all of me

Saturday, December 8, 2012

First Week of Advent

Genesis 3:9-10

God called, “Where are you?”  Adam answered, “I heard you in the garden.  But I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid myself.”

Adam had not learned to bluster, or deny, or project his feelings.  He was afraid, and he said so.  He was ashamed, too; but he didn’t have that word yet.

I have the word, though.  I know all about shame; I’ve even read a book called Shame.  I sin, and then I am a-shamed of my sin.  So I hide.  The story’s still the same as I re-enact that silly scene from Genesis.

In Coming Home to Your True Self, Albert Haase writes, “Most of us have three or four temptations that we often or even consistently give in to.  It is humbling to return time and time again to the same near occasions of sin” (p. 139).

What?  I know what those sins are in my life.  And when I return again and again I want to look straight into the mirror and look at what is there.  The humbling, that’s how I put myself in front of God instead of hiding.

Say it isn’t so, Lord.  Please let me pretend that I’ve got it together.  Your promises are rich and full, and I am forgiven, I am whole.  But I still return to the trough, and drink the salty water that kills me.  I can change.  God does change me, I do eventually get used to drinking the living water instead.  But pretending is never part of the deal.  And neither is projection, which lets me sneak my own sin into my image of others.

On her day of reckoning with Gabriel, Mary spoke simply. “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word.”  She stood up in the garden, and God saw her, and it was good.  She and I are no different – unless when she stands up, I keep hiding.

Mary and all of us, full of grace, are your children, Father.  Hold us close, make us whole, remember us in our fear and trembling.  Restore unto me the joy of my salvation as I stand up and let you see all of me.



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