Friday, August 1, 2025
Memorial of Saint Alphonsus Liguori, Bishop and Doctor of the Church
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
One flesh
After five weddings at the Danville Correctional Center on Wednesday morning, I realized that if the ten weddings originally predicted had materialized, my voice might not have held up. As it was, I drank water often and carried cough drops to clear my throat a few times. But this minor inconvenience did not dilute the joy I felt, watching the happiness five newly married couples felt, laughing and kissing and praising God.
The brides mostly wore white dresses, and the guys wore white shoes along with their best jeans and shirts. As I approached each table in the visiting room to sign the marriage license before we made our way to a corner of the room for the ceremony, conversation stopped. I had the feeling that the inmate habit of bowing to authority was rising up in their throats, even if I had no uniform. I know I looked the part of a pastor, not a “regular” person. I appreciated their respect but did what I could to counter whatever intimidation they might have felt, even if unconsciously.
The word of the Lord remains forever; this is the word that has been proclaimed to you.
The marriage ceremony consists of a “declaration of consent,” vows, giving of rings, Bible readings and prayers. “Till death do us part” takes its proper place in the vows.
I keep my homily very short, referring to Jeremiah 29. These verses (11-14) promise what might feel like pie in the sky, because as these inmates and partners know better than anyone, life is difficult. Can they believe what God tells Jeremiah? Can they believe it applies to them too, these captives in the present day?
I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you and I will bring you back from captivity.
Now they are about to be married, about to become one flesh. Insert the word “together” in appropriate spots in the verses. “Plans I have for you together … to prosper you together … to give you hope and a future together.” What do we do in response? “Come and pray to me together. And I will listen to you, together.” This is the kind of “one flesh” that never stops giving.
On the phone or across the visiting tables, they might choose to learn to pray that way themselves, aloud, together. That’s a practice Margaret and I took a long time to begin, and now we will not live without it. I gave these couples permission to be uncomfortable at first, promising that this would become a foundation for them to live a whole new, holy way together.
At Promise Keepers years ago, founder and football coach Bill McCartney insisted that we pray for each member of our family out loud, in their presence, every single day. When he told his 90,000 listeners this, I know I felt “coached,” and many others did too. Bill cared enough about us to push us hard.
After many years of prison weddings, I found myself emphasizing the “together” thing more than ever before. Bill McCartney died a few months ago. I didn’t know that till just now, but I sensed an internal “push” to insist that these couples make the choice to pray out loud together themselves, just as he insisted that we do too.
Deion Sanders coaches the Colorado Buffaloes now. In his recent news conference about his bladder cancer and its remission, he wore his white cowboy hat, sunglasses and blue bib overalls.
I’m truly thankful that God is so good. God is so good … you have no idea … you have no idea.
He didn’t even try to fight back the tears.
(Leviticus 23, Psalm 82, 1 Peter 1, Matthew 13)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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