If it takes a tornado, go find one

Thursday, May 28, 2026

(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)

If it takes a tornado, go find one

Aelred of Rievaulx wrote, thinking of friendship in the 14^th century:

Here we are, you and I,

 and I hope a third, Christ, is in our midst.

 There is no one now to disturb us;

 there is no one to break in upon our friendly chat,

no man’s prattle or noise of any kind

will creep into this pleasant solitude.

Come now, beloved, open your heart,

and pour into these friendly ears whatsoever you will

 and let us accept gracefully the boon

of this place, time, and leisure.

And what we will do together while we sit in the sun – Aelred, the Holy Spirit and me? In a welcoming, safe place like Port Aransas after a storm, why not ask some questions? Questions invite me to look back and to look forward, starting with how I see things in the present.

Always I’ve preferred to receive those questions rather than reject them, and to mull them over rather than answer them. That’s become a less rational but more creative and prayerful experience in the days before my heart-opening, hopefully heart-cleansing surgery. Mostly my thoughts circle, but don’t land. And mostly, that’s the best way for me.

Soon after we completed our spiritual director training in 2013, we joined a class to become Enneagram guides led by a former Jesuit, now Loyola University professor Jerry Wagner. Jerry loves questions too, and along with his colleague Jan Richardson posted a few that helped guide me into thinking about my personal style (one-on-one seven) alongside each of the others. Take a look:

1. How do you know something is good and right? And how are you so sure you’re right?
2. How do you know what someone needs? And how do you know how to shape-shift to please them?
3. How do you know you can finish a project? How do you get organized?
4. How do you know when something is authentic and also when something is aesthetically pleasing?
5. How do you know something is true? Where do your insights come from?
6. How do you know someone is trustworthy? And what are your danger detectors?
7. How do you foresee the future? How do you stay so optimistic and hopeful?
8. How do you know you’re strong? And how do you sense weakness in others?
9. How do you know when something fits and doesn’t fit? What’s your secret for adapting and for resolving conflict?

Jan Richardson– poet, painter and retreat leader – shared some of the questions her spiritual director had asked her in their meetings. Here are some of the questions she considered as she “poured into the friendly ears:”

1. What’s the invitation?
2. What do you have energy for?
3. What can you do where you really are?
4. What would it take for you not to have any regrets now?
5. Is there a question for you that has been pivotal in becoming who you are?

Andi’s Mother Day questions bring me back to memories which, more than my musings, allow the past, present and future to become one:

1. What was your first trip and how did you get there?

2. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

3. What was something that was really hard for you and now you can do it easily?

4. If you could build a secret hideout anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would be inside?

5. If you had $5 when you were five years old, where would you go and what would you buy?

6. If you could pick one sound/song that makes you feel happy and safe, what would it be?

7. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning now? What did you do when you were a child?

8. If you were a parent, what is one prayer you would pray for your child?

Jesus asked questions a lot, often to turn the tables on sly inquisitors, other times to open the hearts of those who loved him. And his friends and enemies asked him questions too. When it mattered most, he answered them unequivocally.

What must I do to be saved?

He could have come back with a divisive answer, but he didn’t. He quoted the scriptures his ancestors revered:

Love God and love your neighbor. Love everyone, in every way, all the time … and whatever it is you think you can’t live without, give it all away. When you do you will see how your salvation moves from the future to the present, from “heaven” in the sky to a circle of sunshine around you right here, right now.

Most of us will need to define the nouns and verbs in Jesus’ answer. What is love, what is everyone, what is all the time, what is give it all away? My cousin Mike’s lifetime of asking those questions as an almost-Jesuit, sibling, husband, father, philosopher and nurse, has settled into a passion to help others answer them well, so they can get on with actual loving and giving. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

 Like newborn infants, long for pure spiritual milk

so that through it you may grow into salvation,

for you have tasted that the Lord is good.

(1 Peter 2, Psalm 100, John 8, Mark 10)

(posted at www.davesandel.net)

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